My youngest daughter passed away on September 28, 2009, one week before her first birthday. She’d spent 6 months being treated at the U of M’s Amplatz Children's Hospital and I was by side for all of it. Losing Ava to a pulmonary embolism sent me to a dark place and straight into therapy on what would have been her birthday.
I’m bringing this up here because it was during this time I decided I could walk one of two paths; I could choose to honor Ava’s memory by finding the light in every hard situation, or I could sink into the darkness. Seeing as I had two daughters who still needed me and Ava bright joy to every life she touched, I chose to look for the light.
I truly believe this attitude has made my cancer diagnosis much easier to handle. I’ve learned to say “why not me” instead of wallowing in self pity. I’m able to find some joy in every day, even the days that suck. On the days I’m nauseous or having bone pain it can be hard to stay positive, that’s when I reach out to my friends and support group. All it takes is a few hilarious TikTok’s or Snapchat’s and my mood is better. My Doctors have commented on my positive attitude and said that it helps with healing and getting through the treatment. And trust me, treatment isn’t easy, I’ve dropped quite a few F-bimbs over the last few months. I really do believe that my positive mindset has helped me bounce back from chemo faster, that and some really good naps. There’s a lot of great research out there backing this and I have a page for you with links to my favorite authors and podcasts.
And finally I made the decision that I am so much more than my diagnosis, and I’m using it as an opportunity to do things that bring me joy, like this Blog. I challenge you to find your joy in every day, so read the book, binge the show, do the craft, and take the trip! A diagnosis doesn’t define us, but how we show up every day does!!
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